WWHD: What Would Hillary Do?

WWHD?

In November, Americans were frequently bombarded with media messaging that portrayed a narrow race between “two terrible candidates,” and asked which of these two unlikable candidates should the nation tolerate for the following four years. America chose, and they chose the first female major-party nominee for President of the United States, Hillary Clinton. Their choice however was circumvented by technicality, with the electoral college deciding the election for her opponent, Donald Trump, with 79,000 total votes across Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania. Since that fateful day, every decision Trump, by all accounts an illegitimate president, makes is therefore contrasted against a nagging, lingering question: What Would Hillary Do?

Alas, they’re both pretty terrible, right? Surely Hillary Clinton would be a terrible and even worse offering, are we right, America? So we decided to look at Donald Trump’s top “accomplishments” in his first 163 days and ask the questions:

Would Hillary Clinton have withdrawn the United States from the Paris Climate Accord?
Would Hillary Clinton have greatly accelerated deportations of illegal aliens?

Would Hillary Clinton have attempted to ban Muslims from entering this country?
Would Hillary Clinton have appointed her daughter Chelsea to an important position within the White House?

Would Hillary Clinton have encouraged foreign diplomats to pay inflated prices for her products?

Would Hillary Clinton have invited Rodrigo Duterte, the thuggish President of the Philippines, to the White House?

Would Hillary Clinton have terminated the practice of celebrating Ramadan at the White House?

Would Hillary Clinton have lied about the number of people attending her inauguration?

Would Hillary Clinton have fired the FBI director?

Would Hillary Clinton have accepted a call from the President of Taiwan?

Would Hillary Clinton have had her subordinates secretly meet with the Russian government before her inauguration?

Would Hillary Clinton have given highly classified intelligence information to the Russians?

Would Hillary Clinton have worked to repeal and sabotage Obamacare?

Would Hillary Clinton have attacked NAFTA endangering our trade relationship with Canada and Mexico?

Would Hillary Clinton have refused to shake German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s hand?

Would Hillary Clinton have praised Vladimir Putin as a ‘strong leader’?

Would Hillary Clinton have lied about how many people voted for her?

Would Hillary Clinton have lied about being wire-tapped by the Obama Administration?

Would Hillary Clinton have refused to endorse Article 5 of the NATO treaty?

Would Hillary Clinton have called Climate Change a ‘hoax’?

Would Hillary Clinton have appointed a Right-wing Conservative to the Supreme Court?

Would Hillary Clinton have refused to attend the White House Correspondents’ Dinner?

Would Hillary Clinton have appointed a known racist to Attorney General?

Would Hillary Clinton have appointed 12 rich white men, 1 black, and 2 women to her cabinet?

Would Hillary Clinton have appointed Climate Change deniers to Secretary of Energy and head of the EPA?

Would Hillary Clinton have gutted the Dodd-Frank Act?

Would Hillary Clinton have cut funding for abortion advice in foreign aid?

Would Hillary Clinton have threatened the city of Chicago with martial law?

Would Hillary Clinton have restored the Keystone XL pipeline project?

Would Hillary Clinton have removed the Climate Change pages from the EPA website?

Would Hillary Clinton have required all EPA scientific research be approved by political appointees?

Would Hillary Clinton have insisted that three million illegal votes were cast in the 2016 election?

Would Hillary Clinton have set in motion plans to build a wall along the border with Mexico?
Would Hillary Clinton have required the DHS to publish weekly lists of crimes committed by immigrants?

Would Hillary Clinton have planned to reinstate the “black sites” used by the CIA before Obama?

Would Hillary Clinton have endorsed the use of torture in interrogating suspected terrorists?

Would Hillary Clinton have required her cabinet members to lavish effusive praise on her?

Would Hillary Clinton have encouraged Intelligence chiefs to undermine an official investigation?

Would Hillary Clinton have required her cabinet members to refuse to give information to Congress?
Would Hillary Clinton have accused London’s mayor of being indifferent to terrorism?

Would Hillary Clinton have abandoned an ally like Qatar, which hosts an American airbase with hundreds of U.S. Servicemen and Servicewomen?

Would Hillary Clinton have claimed that she knew more about ISIS than the US military?

Would Hillary Clinton have praised Rodrigo Duterte for killing thousands of suspected drug dealers?

Would Hillary Clinton have released a budget with a $2 billion math error?

Would Hillary Clinton have shoved the Prime Minister of Montenegro out of her way?

Would Hillary Clinton have disputed the Office of Government Ethics’ legal authority to oversee government ethics?

Would Hillary Clinton have prosecuted a woman for laughing at the Attorney General?

Would Hillary Clinton have knowingly hired a paid agent of the Turkish government as her National Security advisor?

Would Hillary Clinton have threatened to sabotage America’s Health Insurance markets just to coerce Republican votes?

Would Hillary Clinton have used the State Department’s website to promote her business?

Would Hillary Clinton have praised a cable-news anchor who was fired for sexual harassment?

Would Hillary Clinton have jeopardized an ongoing litigation with personal remarks?

Would Hillary Clinton have threatened cities adopting a “sanctuary city” policy?

Would Hillary Clinton have violated the emoluments clause of the Constitution?

Would Hillary Clinton have refused to let the White House celebrate Pride Month to honor LGBT Americans?

Would Hillary Clinton have humiliated the dignity of the office of the Presidency by attacking female journalist Mika Brzezinski, via tweeting sexist insults about her appearance?

SHORT ANSWER? NO.

LONG ANSWER? FUCK, NO.

Questions, comments, concerns?  Anything to add, third-party voters?